Keeping Up

It is such a struggle to try and accomplish my own goals sometimes. To write as often as I want to write, that’s not easy. It’s not about enjoyment. Honestly, I could write for hours if I knew I had the time. It’s like doing a food challenge. They place before you a giant burger with everything you love on it and around it. You know you can down the whole thing with enough time, but given the time limit, you’re well aware of how sick you’re about to be.

Just like that sandwich, doing something constantly, knowing you need to do more and more of it in a certain amount of time, can be exhausting. I think that’s a reason a lot of fiction writers start to struggle with the later books in the series. There’s so much pressure to finish the book they stop feeling the creative juices flowing. For me, it’s not that I don’t have the creative juices. I create new ideas for blogs multiple times a day.

This very blog was just a simple idea I had when I was looking at my, two or three, blogs I had prewritten and thought that’s not enough for a daily blog. Now, I have a list of six or seven ideas with empty drafts. I create short titles from moments of my day that I feel inspired, but I haven’t created all the words. This was even more overwhelming a second ago when I thought I’d written out a few more blogs than I actually had. Suddenly, being four or five blogs ahead turned to three, and one of those is my Sunday blog, which only works for Sunday.

I never wanted to write daily, I was too worried I’d get overwhelmed (case and point), but I also never expected to enjoy it as much as I do. Literally, I started writing a blog before this one and two words in. I said “maybe I should write tonight. I’m not super in the mood,” then a paragraph later I was swimming. This very blog, two words in, I was over it. Now, here I am at paragraph four.

The only thing that stops me from writing is myself. There’s always going to be something easier to do with my time, but there’s also always going to be something “better” I can do as well. There is nothing worse than sinking yourself into a mind stimulating paragraph, then getting pulled out of it because there’s something you realized needs your immediate attention. Hence, the sheer overwhelming thought of trying to keep up.