First Day

I remember being a kid and thinking school was exciting. The weeks leading up to it you were getting new clothes and backpacks. You got a nice pair of shoes.  You were all ready, hoping you could impress with your new get up. I don’t know when that changed. As I got older I stopped caring so much about what I go before school and was excited for the friends I would see at school. Looking back now I don’t hear much from them, but as a parent I see how hard and strange it must have felt for them watching me.

This is the first year all my kids are in school. Lucky for me right now my work schedule allows me to get them off to school and pick them up pretty much all week. In addition I have all this extra time I can spend with my wife, which anyone with children know that’s usually a rare commodity.

It’s such a strange thing to think about my own mind when I was a kid, vs my kids mind today. My life revolves around my family. That is what is most important and that’s what influences my decision, but I didn’t always feel that way as a kid. My life revolves around school. I wore things I thought looked cool. I did my hair because I was worried about being made fun of. Now my kids have their own little world.

When they leave that car to walk into school suddenly our lives separate for a moment. These little people I’ve built my life around now start building their own and there’s a mix of emotions hard to explain. Suddenly I have time again, for writing, for reading, for resting and cleaning. (It’s stupid, but yes I rhymed on purpose) I have time to talk to my wife and get to know her again. Because of my work schedule we can date, and just enjoy each other’s company for a few hours a day.

The great thing about poems is it restricts you from rambling or saying too much. I think my poem probably says it best. This moment is bitter sweet. Watching my children live their own lives is what it was all for, but they are also some of my closest friends because I’ve put a lot of my heart into them. They probably don’t feel the same, and that’s okay because I’m their dad, but I wish they really knew how much I loved them. I just want that to carry them through the hard times, because that’s what my parents love did for me.